F*ck The Rules

I've never really "enjoyed" dating. The main reason for this is that I don't like the "game." I don't believe in following "rules" when it comes to living my life and what I've found in the dating world - it's a game and you've got to play but the rules.

But here's the thing...when it's REAL, there aren't RULES.

For me, following the rules meant being someone other than my authentic self. I think it's safe to say that none of us are as good at being something other than our true selves. Playing the game meant going against my natural instincts and ignoring my intuition. I just wasn't good at playing by the rules when it came to dating.

If a guy texted me and I was available to text right back, I would. Because waiting 37 minutes or 2.33 hours or whatever the "rule" is just didn't feel right to me. I've never really felt the need to make it about a "chase". They say men like to chase and if you're too available, well, they just might lose interest in you. If I was available, I was available. If I wasn't, I wasn't. I never lied or made shit up in an attempt to make a dude feel like he was having to "work". I have a busy life so I wasn't always available as it was, I didn't need to make stuff up. If you're in a position where you're having to make up having a life so that a guy (or girl) will be more interested in you, perhaps you should consider that you don't have enough personal interests. The point is, put yourself first. If you put yourself first you'll never have to play the game and make things up because you're to busy "doing you." Enjoy your own company and pursue your own interests so that being in a relationship serves to compliment your already awesome life!

After enough dating, being married, more of enough dating I decided that "rules" just weren't for me when it came to finding "the one." Any time I felt like someone was game playing, I ran the opposite direction as quickly as I could. I suppose most of this comes with age. As I have become confident in who I am and completely comfortable in my own skin I no longer feel the need to play a game that forces me to compromise who I am and what I believe.

When we feel the need to follow "rules" we compromise our own desires and often times, our standards, for what we think is acceptable in our society. But when it comes to love and really, any relationships, I don't believe that being anything less than real and being our authentic selves leads to lasting and fulfilling relationships. This is why so many people get into a relationship and shortly after everybody is comfortable things seem to change. People get comfortable after they feel secure in the relationship so they let their guard down, they stop playing the game and their real self comes out. This is where many relationships head south. Who we were when we were playing the game is not who we truly are when all is said and done.

I am not saying that we shouldn't put our best foot forward when we're dating, but when we're dating, the

game isn't going to get us very far in the long term. It may result in more dates with a person of interest, but what is the long term impact of the game on the relationship? Not very good, in my opinion. Forget the game. Be yourself. Be true to yourself. Of course, you want to make a good impression, but you should want to make a good impression a year from now, 5 years from now, 20 years from now. Never let comfort allow you to take your partner for granted. Never let comfort allow you to become complacent.

There are no rules when it comes to love. Love is not a game.

When it's real you don't need to play games to win your partner over, just being YOU will be enough.